| I am perturbed I do not have appropriate icons for any of this |
 I am perturbed I do not have appropriate icons for any of this
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May. 3rd, 2018 @ 08:18 pm 
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Most of the last week went to Insomnia Jag and a replay of Final Fantasy XIII.
Insomnia jag: between Tuesdayish and Sunday night I got about sixteen hours of sleep, generally in blocks of 30 minutes or less, I think.
So that sucked.
While that was happening I wasn't really up for much that required substantial levels of brain, but I did play through FF13 again, because I had an outstanding, incomplete assignment from my old therapist:
To play FF13 again, and try to like Vanille.
Because - somewhat annoying voice aside - the thing that has been A Thing of discussion and all is that Vanille is very like me.
Vanille makes mistakes. She fakes every interaction. She hides things and she -
- is broken. She's traumatised and hurting and terrified. She's trying to fake normal, but she has no idea what normal even is.
But in the midst of all of that, she does try to help people, and comfort them, and be kind.
She's hurting and frightened and she doesn't want people to know that.
It's kind of a thing.
The other thing about FF13 is that it's a really good game with amazing characters and a good story that desperately needs fix-it fic, and inspired me to write fiction for the first time in a really long time. Several years, at least.
I'm starting small - editing and finishing a story I had mostly written but never quite finished something like five years ago - but it feels pretty good to write again, especially after the last several years of illness and injury.
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